Hello my name is Jennifer, and I'm a fixer.

Call it what you want, co-dependent, fixer, control freak. I have a serious problem with worrying, and trying to fix things for people I care about. Often times against their will, as they don't see anything to fix. Or they see it, and aren't ready to make a change yet, which in all fairness is their choice. I tell myself I'm just trying to help them and that I want them to be happy, but in all reality I think it's a protective thing too. I'm trying to protect them from getting hurt, which at the same time protects ME from getting hurt, since I seem to take on their problems and make them my own, take on their hurt. How can I possibly be happy when someone I love isn't happy? Oh the lucky people in my life, I care so much about them that I can't stay out of their business!! Somewhere along the way I was reinforced in this behavior, and I think I know right when it happened. I tried so hard to save a marriage that was not even my own, but was a marriage where I felt a lot of ownership. Mind you, this marriage was going to fail no matter what, because one of the parties involved didn't truly want to make it work. But, I backed off from trying to prevent that person from screwing it up, and the marriage failed. So somehow, I took that on, and convinced myself I was partially to blame because I didn't stop it from happening. While I've become more self-aware, it doesn't change my tendency to want to get right in the action, and mantain peace and harmony. You WILL be happy, like it or not!!! I really want to work on this, (not because I don't want peace and harmony of course), but because I feel like I'm not really helping anyone like I want to - I'm just making things worse. I'm not letting people live their own lives and make their own decisions. Plus, I don't want my kids to be micro-managed their entire lives by a spastic mother who is always convinced that the ship is going down. So if I've stuck my nose into your business on one too many occasions, just know that it's because I love you so much that I can' t stand to see you hurt. And, I have a problem, and I'm working on it, I promise.